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SARAH KANE 4.48 PSYCHOSIS SARAH KANE 4.48 PSYCHOSIS 2 4.48 Psychosis was first performed at the Royal Court Jerwood Theatre Upstairs, London, on 23 June 2000. The cast was as follows: Daniel Evans Jo McInnes Madeline Potter Directed by James Macdonald Designed by Jeremy Herbert Lighting by Nigel J Edwards Sound by Paul Arditti SARAH KANE 4.48 PSYCHOSIS 3 (A very long silence.) – But you have friends. (A long silence.) You have a lot of friends. What do you offer your friends to make them so supportive? (A long silence.) What do you offer your friends to make them so supportive? (A long silence.) What do you offer? (Silence.) a consolidated consciousness resides in a darkened banqueting hall near the ceiling of a mind whose floor shifts as ten thousand cockroaches when a shaft of light enters as all thoughts unite in an instant of accord body no longer expellent as the cockroaches comprise a truth which no one ever utters I had a night in which everything was revealed to me. How can I speak again? the broken hermaphrodite who trusted hermself alone finds the room in reality teeming and begs never to wake from the nightmare and they were all there every last one of them and they knew my name as I scuttled like a beetle along the backs of their chairs Remember the light and believe the light An instant of clarity before eternal night don't let me forget SARAH KANE 4.48 PSYCHOSIS 4 I am sad I feel that the future is hopeless and that things cannot improve I am bored and dissatisfied with everything I am a complete failure as a person I am guilty, I am being punished I would like to kill myself I used to be able to cry but now I am beyond tears I have lost interest in other people I can't make decisions I can't eat I can't sleep I can't think I cannot overcome my loneliness, my fear, my disgust I am fat I cannot write I cannot love My brother is dying, my lover is dying, I am killing them both I am charging towards my death I am terrified of medication I cannot make love I cannot fuck I cannot be alone I cannot be with others My hips are too big I dislike my genitals At 4.48 when depression visits I shall hang myself to the sound of my lover's breathing I do not want to die I have become so depressed by the fact of my mortality that I have decided to commit suicide SARAH KANE 4.48 PSYCHOSIS 5 I do not want to live I am jealous of my sleeping lover and cover his induced unconsciousness When he wakes he will envy my sleepless night of thought and speech unslurred by medication I have resigned myself to death this year Some will call this self-indulgence (they are lucky not to know its truth) Some will know the simple fact of pain This is becoming my normality 100 91 84 81 72 69 58 44 37 38 42 21 28 12 7 It wasn't for long, I wasn't there long. But drinking bitter black coffee I catch that medicinal smell i

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